All Things Come to an End

wow. Today started my last week at my summer job. I am extremely happy about the fact that I will not be working here anymore, I can say that much. I appreciate the money I'm making, because it's good money, but this job is just not for me. I'm someone who always has to be busy, I hate having nothing to do and this job provides me with the latter. I recently felt this job was starting to depress me, but really it was just bugging me, not having anything to do.
So there are so obvious positives to this job ending
1. It's ending
2. It means I go on vacation in a week
3. I go back to school in 16 days
But there are some negatives as well.
1. I go back to school in 16 days
2. summer is ending

You'll notice that the fact that i go back to school in a little over 2 weeks falls under both categories. Now, I love school don't get me wrong, I do but while this summer has been fun, I feel like I missed a lot of it. I worked everyday for 8 hours since the day I came home from school. I go out some nights and some weekends but actually for a good 5 weekends in a row I was busy, or visiting family or what have you. I just feel like I missed out on a lot of summer. I didn't go to the beach ever, I didn't go into the city like I usually do with friends, I haven't been able to do things with a lot of my friends because I work and some of them don't, or they have more flexible hours. So it kinda sucks. I wish I had just a little bit more time to hang out with my friends before going back to school. There are some friends I have seen only once or about a handful of times this summer. I know a lot of people that I know up at school don't have a good group of friends and home, in fact they really don't have any becauase they've lost touch, but Im a little different. I have a good core group of friends that I hang out with all the time at home and I'd really like to spend some more time with them before school starts. Maybe just one extra week of free time before band camp and school hit.
Another reason I'm a little nervous for school is because i have a lot of responsibilities and commitments this year. And while I'm no stranger to either of those things, and I love taking responsibilities and leadership and I'm fully committed to everything I do, I'm a little nervous, for the first time in my life, that maybe I'm taking on too much. I go back and forth between knowing I can do it, and doubting myself. These leadership positions I have taken on are things I have wnated since I was a freshman, and now that I'm a junior I can finally do it and I'm so excited, and I have so many ideas and I can't wait to get started, but another part of me is afraid that I just won't be good enough. I just have to keep teling myself I can. Because I know I can and I shouldn't doubt myself. I can do this. I can handle this. I know how to time manage, I will be fine. I will.

now that that rant is over. I am excited for school! band camp is soon and I can't wait to go to leadership camp and meet all the freshman, and move into my apartment, and start some of my music classes and enjoy the year as much as I can. =)

I can't believe I'm a junior. wow.