See Me

Okay, so big news. My wonderful big brother (not by blood, by fraternity lol) who just turned 21 2 months ago just got engaged to his girlfriend of just about a year last night. They are both going to be seniors in college.
Pardon me while I have another freak out.
What?! I mean, I'm extremely happy for them, I am. I'm just...flabbergasted (great word). I didn't believe it at first when I got the text message (yes, you read that right - big news from a text message) but it is without a doubt true. I was driving in my car and I could hardly breathe when I figured out this was no joke. (And that is not an exaggeration)
I'm happy for them that they have found love in each other and that they feel that at this point in their lives they are ready to make this kind of commitment. All power to you my friends. I mean I of course have my concerns but, it is not my business to air out over the blogosphere so I'm going to keep it to myself.
But that does start me thinking about relationships in general and about my relationships - or rather, lack there of.
Since freshman year of high school I have been in 1 relationship. It lasted 2 months - we were just much better off as friends. I was a junior. Since then - nothing. Of course I always have my crushes and what not but unfortunately for me, when I get a crush - I get a crush. Lasts for a very long time, and I'll just leave it at that.
So now, here I am, 20 years old and I've never been in a serious relationship. Now, I know I'm not the only one out there but it certainly feels like it. All my friends from home have been in relationships for years. My one friend just broke up with her boyfriend of almost 4 1/2 years a few weeks ago, 2 other pairs are going on 5 years, my best friend is officially going on like 4 months but unofficially about a year, one of my roommates is going on a year this fall. I just feel like all around me are this great long lasting relationships and then there's me. I'm always that extra wheel if you will. Sometimes, when I think about my future, which I have been doing a lot of this summer, I wonder if I'll ever meet someone that I feel I can spend the rest of my life with. Hell, I wonder if I'll meet anyone to spend a few months with, let alone my life. It's kind of a scary thought to me, never falling in love. Love is so important to me and it is the one thing I want most of all in this world. To find someone who is like "my other half" someone I am comfortable with, and that I just want to be with. Someone who is my best friend. Of course, the love of my friends and family mean the world to me, but one day I really hope to find that "can't eat, can't sleep, over the fence world series kind of stuff" (I was watching It Takes Two this morning, forgive that quote). Sometimes I wonder if because I've never been in a serious relationship that when I do finally meet someone that I could really care about, that they'll be hesitant about getting into a relationship with me because of my lack of "experience" if you will.
I don't know. One day.